Here, There, Anywhere, and Nowhere
by certifiedsaladexpert
Summary: Nick has to deal with Lucifer's stay while using him as a vessel. No slash.
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing.**

Nick awoke and opened his eyes to find himself sitting on the living room couch. That was normal.

What was not normal was that there seemed to be a copy of him sitting opposite to him on the armchair.

Did he have a twin? Nick couldn't remember. He was mostly sure he didn't, but if he did- and that's a big if- then this twin was faring much better than Nick. Nick had been the broken shell of a man, drinking his days away and increasing the percent alcohol volume as the investigation dragged on. But Perhaps-Nick's-Secret-Twin was different. He sat up straight, confident, exuding an aura of power. He had the same energy as a feral animal at the zoo enclosure when the gate was left open. He was there, sitting, collected and dangerous. Nick just there, fixated on him because Perhaps-Nick's-Secret-Twin commanded attention and authority without saying anything. He was captivating

"Are you me?" Nick asked Perhaps-Nick's-Secret-Twin.

"No, Nick. I am not you. I am only here temporarily.", Not Nick answered calmly.

 _Okay…_

"Nick, can you remember anything? About what happened before our conversation?", Not Nick asked Nick.

"I-uh," Nick started but didn't finish. He found that he had no recollection of anything. His world was limited to knowing that he was inside his living room talking to his talking reflection. So, he had knowledge of his home and memory of looking into the bathroom mirror and recognizing himself. Nick searched his memory and found a blank. There was a concrete wall that surprisingly didn't bother him. He searched for emotion and found himself lacking there, too. Nick was numb.

"Good. I had to block some memories of yours. Sorry Nick. You were mess. I had to block our meeting because that too would make you unstable. And I can't have that because you're already less than a perfect fit. For you humans, ignorance is bliss. "Not-Nick stated matter-of-factly, like a doctor writing a prescription.

"Alright…if you're not me. Then who are you? Nick asked Not-Nick. Was Nick talking to his conscience or had he finally reached alcohol poisoning?

Not-Nick chuckled, the predator all too visible.

"I am Lucifer."

* * *

Nick had spent the time since he had awoken just wandering what he knew was his house. There were pictures of himself, a woman, and a little baby. He knew he was related to them, and yet, he still didn't feel anything.

 _Was that a good thing?_

Nick would usually watch TV. He would sit on the couch, grab the remote, and turn on the TV and flip between the five channels that he guessed that Lucifer had made available. One was the weather channel. Two was shared by MTV, daily Mass, and Hallmark. 3 was the Discovery Channel featuring National Geographic. Four was the outside world where he would see what Lucifer was doing through his body. Nick usually avoided that one. Five was all of Nick's memories from birth until a night where it turns to static. That incident was specifically blocked for some reason. So, Nick just watched his past birthday parties and _The Price is Right_ reruns.

Sometimes Nick would sneak up on Lucifer watching the daily mass, so Nick knew it was noon. When the mass was an hour-long Nick knew it was Sunday and a week had passed. Nick would find Lucifer fascinated by it, other times angry, making the room shake and the dry wall cake off muttering about how "no one could ever love Him like I did! "

Time was non-existent wherever Nick was. According to Lucifer it was so "a minute was like a thousand years, and a thousand years like a minute."

But that still didn't explain why the devil was watching the mass.

One time when Nick was watching a documentary on Yellowstone Lucifer came and plopped himself on the seat next to him, not caring that he had startled Nick.

"This earth is amazing isn't? My Father's Creation is beautiful; I want to keep it. Like the aurora borealis. I was there when He decided to give the north a lightshow. Like how the sex of sea turtles is determined by the depth of the hole that the eggs are buried in; the heat. Father knew what He was doing. "

Lucifer turned to Nick. "You know, that book you humans like to read is right on some things. I was beautiful. The most beautiful. I still am. Father willed it so."

"Okay then. If you're so good-looking then why use my skin?", Nick asked.

"Because Nick," Lucifer sounded annoyed, "I have to present myself to you like this because my true form would drive you insane. I don't have hooves and horns. I am more of a light wave, an intense light, pure Creation. And I am beautiful. Though, I will admit, the cage changed my appearance; its terrifying."

"Okay so if you're no longer beautiful but scary, then what's so pretty about you?"

Lucifer smiled. "My great personality. "

* * *

"Doesn't anybody care about Lucifer the Archangel?!" Lucifer exclaimed to the ceiling, exasperated. He was lying on the couch, feet up and everything because this was another one of his monologues.

"Uh-huh. And how does that make you feel?" Nick had no choice but to listen. He was Lucifer's only audience so whenever Lucifer would start another of his rants all Nick could do was sit down and pretend to care.

"It's just like, c'mon! I am gone, put away on solitary confinement for like for freakin' ever and I have all these posers and you humans just trashing my name! Everything from dumb stories because demons were impersonating me, to a Rolling Stones' song, and that damned cat in Cinderella! Will the real Lucifer please stand up?!" I should've copyrighted my name. I could've been collected royalties right now!

Nick didn't know what Lucifer had chosen to complain this time about. His public image, his family, or his supposed destiny.

"Ugh! And then the rest of the archangels! Lemme tell you! They're nothing but a bunch of –

 _So, family then._ Nick pretended to jot down scribbles on a yellow, legal notepad, but he was making little pen tornadoes.

"You know, I was made different, beautiful! Father made sure of it! He made me different, named me different! You have Michael, viceroy of Heaven. Raphael, healer of Heaven- Ha! Guy was as sensitive as a toilet seat-, and then Gabriel, messenger of Heaven. Not me! Oh no, not me! I was named Lucifer, the Morningstar, the light bringer, the raiser of the dawn! All the others were just jealous, that it! Father loved me more and they knew it!"

"Michael loved me. Raised me in ways no one can ever understand. I in turn helped raise Raphael and Gabriel and together we fought against the Darkness. I fought the hardest! I was ready! I loved Michael, idolized him! And then when I asked to stand with me, he rejected me because he was the good son! He was more loyal to Father than to anyone else and he made sure that Raphael and Gabriel turned against me too! All because I was right! All because I was different! It's all you human's fault, too! All I want is an apology from you guys! I miss my family. I miss Father. I want an apology from him, too. And an apology from Michael! Heck, I'll even hug Raphael…

"Uh-huh…"

"You know," Lucifer dropped his voice, loosing his mania and suddenly serious, " I often wondered in that cage why Father made me so different. I think I finally got it. Before Father decided to create, the world was enveloped in darkness. He made me the bringer of light. When you're so used to the darkness, what can be more beautiful than the light?"

Nick wrote "sibling issues" right next to "Daddy Issues" as diagnosis on the page.

* * *

Nick found his house spotless. When Nick had agreed to be used as a vessel the house had been in disarray. He couldn't bring himself to clean and he hadn't arranged for a housekeeping service either. So, it came as a pleasant surprise to have all the changes of clothes still in the closet. The drawers perfectly organized. No dust whatsoever. A five-star hotel cleaning service would've been jealous of the white glove test results.

There was women's clothing in the master bedroom and the bed was big enough to fit too people and yet Nick still felt nothing. Pictures of weddings, outings, and vacations held no meaning. There was also a smaller room nearby, decorated in baby boy blue outfitted with a crib, changing table, and gifts for an infant. Pictures of an ultrasound lay atop of a drawer by a lamp. All that meant nothing. Whatever feeing was attached was either lost, forgotten, or as Nick guessed, suppressed by Lucifer if Nick was useful. The day that he was no longer useful would be the day that Nick was let go of his internal house arrest. That day would come soon.

Nick would find the pantry filled. Anything he took out would be replaced immediately. The wine cabinet filled with wines whose foreign names Nick couldn't pronounce correctly. He would eat without being hungry. He would drink without feeling thirsty. The bathroom was scrubbed and ready to use. Nick would bath with water that never turned cold. No reparations ever needed to be made, nothing needed fixing. No leaky faucet, no ruptured tubing, no food shortage, no need, no want, no feeling, and no family.

As much as Lucifer liked to talk about _his_ family, Nick's was a taboo subject. Only once did Nick ask.

"Lucifer, who are those people in the pictures besides me?"

Lucifer kept working on whatever to keep himself busy; not turning to Nick he responded, "that's your wife and child, Nick. They're in Heaven. Don't worry about them; they're fine. They didn't suffer, it was a quick job. I made sure of it. You'll be joining them soon enough."

Nick had no feeling. Lucifer had plenty, in fact he probably had excess and could share, and still have enough anger and bitterness leftover to fuel an atom bomb. Except one time that anger and bitterness was replaced by regret…and was…it…love? When Lucifer killed Gabriel, the elder seemed to regret doing it, having killed his little brother. Lucifer then promptly bottled that feeling up and pushed it to the deepest, darkest, and dankest corner of his being. Lucifer might've loved his family, especially Gabriel, but there was no room for feelings that weren't useful, not now.

Lucifer did not extend that privilege to Nick, he had no feelings for Nick except pity. Nick knew that he was just some dog that Lucifer had picked up for temporary use until this "Sam" boy was found. Then Nick would be put down like the dog Lucifer considered him to be.

So as Lucifer tore lives apart looking for Sam, killing pagan gods and slaughtering entire towns, Nick would pop open a bottle of Merlot and watch as Lucifer prepared for the beginning of the end of the world.

* * *

The day came, more sooner than later, when Lucifer told Nick that they were in Detroit.

"I have Sam. Take care of yourself, Nick. You've been good to me. I left you 300 dollars in your pocket to get yourself a ride home. You'll see Sarah and the baby."

"That sounds more like bad news to me. "

"Well, Michael always told me that bad news was just good news in disguise."

"Was this before he locked you in the cage?"

"Yes, it was."

Lucifer snapped his fingers and he was gone. Nick awoke a little while later in a house.

He needed to use the bathroom.

He looked in the mirror.

 _Oh cool, I am a Halloween costume._

The world was slowly closing in, his vision turning black. His knees buckled, his nose bled, his skin ashy and gray. His body was finally shutting down after the visit. The archangel was the only thing keeping the body together.

Nick patted his pockets. No cash in either.

Lucifer knew he wasn't going to need it.

 **Thank you for reading. Please review. Part II coming soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Supernatural**

"How do you feel, Nicki, buddy, ol' sport?"

"Like crap."

"Ah, that's expected."

Nick's eyes fluttered open. He lay sprawled in his bed in the master bedroom with Lucifer lying next to him at his side in one of those "draw me like one of your French girls" pose. With a hand on his hip and the other supporting his head, Lucifer looked at Nick rather pitifully, cocking his head as if wondering something. The light of the lamp by the bedside illuminated only half of his face and Nick shuddered at the fact that even in this ridiculous pose, Lucifer looked like he was too busy considering what kind of seasoning to put on Nick when Lucifer had finally gone through with him.

 _What do you think, Nick? All-purpose or lemon-pepper? Broiled or grilled? Did you work out a lot? I need to know so I know which pieces to tenderize more…_

"Lucifer", Nick had gotten used to talking to his mirror image, even if that mirror image was temperamentally instable, "why am I here?"

Lucifer got up and shrugged his shoulders- _no! Nick's shoulders-_ and answered like a school teacher correcting a new pupil.

"Cuz I am in your body once more; Crowley and the rest of the Scooby gang salvaged whatever was left of your already rotting corpse in Detroit and made your body into the Cage."

"English please."

"In simple terms", Lucifer emphasized, unapologetically sounding patronizing, "it means that I am going to be here forever, so I decided to resurrect you. I get lonely too sometimes. I needed someone to pass the time with. You are not overly annoying, you're mildly interesting, and you don't put up a fight like Sammy does. In other words, you are the loyal vessel. Not the destined one, only the loyal one; but I guess at my age somethings change and you start valuing things a bit differently."

"Long story short", Lucifer leaned in close, "to quote Van Halen: you're indeed running with the Devil, now buddy."

And just like that, Nick, once more, become an inmate at the worst kind of prison there is: himself

* * *

Sometimes Lucifer was kind of gentle, all smiles and encouraging words to Nick.

Most of the time, he was not.

One of his most favorite things to do recently was to get Nick's kitchen table, strap Nick in by his extremities and somehow tether it to the wall and spin it like it was the Wheel of Fortune. Lucifer made sure to arrange it like he was the star of a prime-time game show. Lucifer would dress himself in the finest, most expensive suits (sometimes in outrageous colors and others in classic black with a bowtie) in a way to mock Nick because no way that in life would Nick have been able to afford something like that. At times Lucifer would give himself an earpiece and a microphone to announce the activities. He would go over the top by materializing dozens of women all dressed identically in red bikinis with pitchforks and little red horns to hand him prices he himself made whenever he won (and he always won) accompanied by lime-lights and falling confetti. To drive the point further home, Nick was in the back in the dark strapped in naked with bonds around his wrists and ankles; if Lucifer was feeling generous, he gave Nick a loincloth.

When he was feeling spicy, Lucifer would stand several feet away and throw things at Nick (sometimes sharp, sometimes not), usually naming off one of his varied appearances for each throw or he would find literally any other reason.

"One for the story of Creation", said Lucifer, cradling in his arms the knife set that Nick's mother-in-law had gifted him, "another for the story of Job where I tell Father that the only reason that Job praises Him is because of how blessed he is". A knife thuds half a foot away from Nick's waist.

"A third, no, actually three, for the three times I supposedly tempted the Nazarean in the desert. Three knives land with a heavy-handed thud in between Nick's open legs. _THUD. THUD. THUD._

"Two for _Paradise Lost_ and _Paradise Gained"_. Two skewers land two inches away from Nick's left arm.

"Another one for when I supposedly went down to Georgia to challenge Johnny for that damned fiddle of gold." One singular suspiciously sharpened butter knife land stuck just centimeters away from Nick's ear, unfortunately grazing the skin and causing a little bleed. The blood trickles down the side of Nick's face, down the table, and dripped onto the floor. Lucifer had amazing aim for the knife to land so close to its target while the table spun.

Nick made no noise, no complaint, he couldn't. Lucifer had taken his voice away without ripping any vocal cords; managed to drown him in the middle of the driest air and asphyxiate him with an open windpipe as if intubated. If Nick were to make noise, that would be up to Lucifer's discretion and seemingly, to his pleasure.

Nick let out a little whimper at the sharp pain that the butter knife had taken out a small piece of skin, nothing too major.

Lucifer pouted. "Oh, c'mon Nick! A little blood never hurt anybody!"

Lucifer turned and gestured to Nick to follow his gaze. There, in the middle of the living room, materialized out of thin air a woman in a nightgown with dark hair carrying a small baby in her slender arms. They both smiled at him.

Sarah and Teddy.

Lucifer turned and with a deadly grin, grabbed one more knife out of the set box that read, "The Bible; starring: ME", and threw it at the apparition. The knife transformed into a work-heavy, iron hammer and hit the little baby square in the face, breaking open by force the skull and sending blood and brain matter splattering all over the walls.

Lucifer thunderous cackles drowned out Nick's screams.

"Except for maybe little Teddy of course."

* * *

Lucifer held the keys to the kingdom. Nick, meanwhile, just got left holding a bag full of empty promises and pretty words that had finally revealed their thorns.

That kingdom, being namely, Nick's mind.

Judging from what he saw on the channel, Nick knew that Lucifer was locked up in chains by the demon Crowley. Consequently, this resulted in Lucifer spending obnoxious amounts of time inside Nick's head.

"You know, Nick, only your kind could've turned this pristine land into what it is today: a shopping mall! And what you do you humans think of the wonderful inheritance given to you by Father turned into a consumerist nightmare? You think it's just dandy!", whined Lucifer as he wandered aimlessly around the house. Sometimes to humor himself, he would move staircases and walls and rearrange furniture to just mess with Nick.

Lucifer was heading down to the basement and claimed that Nick should follow him for reasons yet undisclosed.

"I didn't show you somethings last time I visited, Nick. It was the first time in a long time that I had been in a human and my memory was a little rusty…" Lucifer apologized as he turned all the lights on with a snap of fingers to reveal a sorry mess of a basement. Unlike his neighbors who made their basements into play areas or bars or just used them as a plain cellar, Nick made fine usage of his as a dumping ground. Carboard boxes lay opened with papers and trinkets lain strewn around. Nick had jostled with the idea of moving after the incident, but helplessness is one hell of a drug and quite frankly, he didn't have the willpower nor the energy to do so. If enough beers kept him sedated after work and on weekends, Nick stayed right where he was.

The blueprints for the house were rolled up and Nick was hit with the most curious and strongest wave of utter numbness that only came around when something was connected to his family. Whatever algorithm -that's the best comparison Nick could make- Lucifer made to accomplish this feat was something any coder would envy. The fact that even a Fu ischia hair tie that must've been Sarah's used to keep the blueprints rolled triggered the blockage meant that Lucifer had complete management over Nick's mind.

While Nick was figuring all this out, he heard Lucifer call out to him, "Talking about your mind, Nick, turn around to look at me. You want to meddle in memory, check this out. "

 _So, he could read his mind whenever he felt like it, too._

"Oh, stop it! Don't act like like you didn't know I could do that! Anyway, look at this. "

"Those are just filing cabinets."

Indeed, there just filing cabinets. Hundreds upon hundreds of filing cabinets. There were average looking metal gray and chrome finish for handles filing cabinets with little name plates in front, stacked atop of each other reaching all the way to the ceiling and the ends of the room that somehow stretched itself.

"And because I am not one to stay in the stone age like Adam and Eve, I've included a modern catalog system." Lucifer proudly turned to show a computer. "It's just liked a library. Search for anything within the bounds of your life and something ought to show up about where to find it. This is where I get all your mediocre Spanish. Careful though, not everything here is filed A-Z order."

Nick started toward it, fingers tingling with anticipation for the potential search for an incident. Lucifer snapped his fingers and Nick flew and hit the concrete wall behind him.

"Don't even think of doing that, Nick. Don't you understand I blocked that incident for a reason? I am trying to do you a favor."

 _Sometimes you do and sometimes you don't. Are you really?_

Lucifer huffed, having obviously heard the comment and just turned around to the computer, typed something in and having found it, started for the correct filing cabinet leaving Nick alone in that part of the basement. Alone and free (although it could be arguing that Nick was never _free_ ) went to the nearest cabinet titled "7th grade science". Nick opened it and picked out the first manila folder and pulled it out. Upon opening the folder, the first line was, "the mitochondria are the powerhouse of a cell."

Lucifer approached him from the front. He carried two folders with him. One on human reproduction and gestation. Nick figured that was from he and Sarah were reading on that for Teddy's arrival. The other he couldn't quite make out.

"You know what I told Crowley? That both him and I are single fathers! What would be a good age to let them date…Ha! That was a good one on my part. I guess I could add you to the club. We can make a little support group like the Alcoholics Anonymous you should've gone to. But I don't know if you apply, because your only kid is dead. There could be a separate club for you. Dean could even join you!

The second folder read, "How to change a diaper".

* * *

Nick couldn't quite make out which surprised him more: the fact that Lucifer had met up his Father or the fact that Lucifer himself now was a father.

What surprised Nick even more was that this little Nephilim yet to be born absolutely occupied every minute of Lucifer's 24-hour day. Because he was so distracted, he would let his guard down. Because of _that,_ roles were reversed. Nick could now peer into Lucifer's thoughts and feelings just from sensing the atmosphere. It was apparent because his house would morph to fit Lucifer's mood and the five TV channels had been reduced to three: repeats of Lucifer's meeting with his Father, Lucifer's thoughts and, dare Nick say it, _worries_ , about his son, and the Discovery Channel still featuring National Geographic. Lucifer had kept that one for whatever reason (maybe it was the axolotl documentary).

 _Ha! Two can play that game, dear Luci!_

Nick would sneak and watch the TV and see the place where Lucifer was locked up and hear the orders that Lucifer gave to Dagon as if given through an intercom.

When Dagon informed him that the "container" was out of her reach, the whole house shook on a magnitude that would've been off the Richter scale and Lucifer's angry scream alone was enough decibels to break all the glass in the house, even the containers housed in the pantry and refrigerator. All the faucets spat out steaming hot water, all wooden furniture splintered into a million little pieces, all electric appliances short-circuited, and anything plated in chrome cracked showing the cheaper metal alloys underneath. Lights flickering was a walk in the park as compared to when the Devil was informed that his son was missing.

"Can you believe Him?! Father apologized to me and I fell for it! He just wanted someone to help fight Auntie Amara and what happened?! He ran off with her and left me hanging! His own dear son that he admitted He was not fair to! It's like the Fall all over again. I am not going to lie, Nick - _How, though? You're the Father of Lies-_ I thought I was over it and Father just went and ripped open an old wound. I feel betrayed. "Lucifer's supposed sadness soon gave way to anger. The stove turned on the highest setting.

"I won't be like Him! I am done with Him-for real this time. I hate it. I realized that I was a sucker before and I would've dropped to my knees for anything He asked me just like old times because I hate to admit it, but I still loved Him, and I still do. I won't betray _my_ son like that. I'll be better than Him! I'll keep my word to him. I won't hurt him. I'll even give him an appropriate name. Something poetic. I won't be like Father that the first being I create their name is a reference to me. Poor Michael. Just look at the meaning of _his_ name, Nick. A rhetorical question, "Who is like God?" That's what Father decided to name his first archangel. Doesn't that sound like an egotistical megalomaniac to you, Nick? NO! I'll give my boy a good, proper, angelic name.

 _That's if the boy's mother doesn't do that first…_

Lucifer deflated at that comment, having read Nick's mind for it. He couldn't deny it. From what he had read in that folder from Nick's mind, he knew that human mothers exercised considerable influence over their offspring. He could feel whenever the child's energy was being pulled away from the father and Lucifer could only conclude that it was Kelly calling the child. Nick knew that Lucifer had been catching a whiff and a small taste of Castiel's grace somewhere in the mix and that worried the Devil.

Lucifer didn't reprimand Nick for the comment. Nick was right. Even with all the power that the Devil could possibly yield if he strained himself there were limitations; a couple of things he could not control one being his Father's will and the other was a mother's love.

"Hunker down and hang in there tight, Nick" Lucifer warned his vessel before the line went dead.

The only reason that Nick noticed anything was amiss was because he had done his laundry. He never had to do laundry.

His clothes got dirty and smelly with sweat. The closets and drawers weren't organized. They didn't automatically refill. So, Nick turned to his best option, the washer and dryer only to find out they lacked any detergent or fabric softener. They didn't even have dryer sheets.

Nick knew that what Lucifer had been receding into a kind of hibernation to deal with what alternate world Michael was doing to him. Nick knew it was bad, but did he really have to punish Nick by not supplying him without any detergent. That was crossing the line.

Nick naturally turned to his last resource: the alphabet magnets on the refrigerator.

Dear Luci,

You're slipping. Either you fix the deal with my clothes or you give me detergent and keep the electricity on enough to wash a load.

Love, Nick

Two days later, a response arranged itself with the rainbow letters.

Dear Nick,

Sorry. I've been a little busy. You should be ok now. I even left a little gift.

Love, Luci

 _How funny. He calls me "dear", but he despises me._

Nick went down to the laundry room and found it fully stocked and the little surprise turned out to be Downy Unstoppables in fresh linen scent.

 _You really outdid here, Lucifer. You really had to spend some energy on making this._

So, Nick did laundry for the first time in a long time but that did not distract him from the bigger problem at hand. The Devil had met his match in the form of an alternate version of his elder brother. A more brutal and powerful version. The only thing keeping the Devil's head above water during this matter was spite and his son.

The Devil's jealousy had been switched from his Father to his son. His new object of fixation to obsess over.

Nick knew because Lucifer made his weakness apparent. The short bursts Lucifer would appear in the living room talking to a little something in his arms in low, hushed tones. Upon further inspection by sneaking, Nick found it be a little golden orb of light. It reminded Nick of that movie Teddy used to like to watch with the little red eggs at the beginning and how there were so many of them and the clownfish tried to protect his wife against a barracuda, and she died, and the barracuda ate all the babies and only one was le-

 _Nick, focus!_

Nick narrowed his eyes and like he instructed himself to do so, he focused. Lucifer held the orb tight, against his chest and speaking in what Nick guessed was Enochian. The orb seemed to react and jiggle and shot off a beam of light that almost blinded Lucifer in one eye.

Lucifer frowned at it. "Don't talk to your father that way, young one. Don't get too excited, son. "

 _Son? So, the kid is just a yellow tennis ball?!_

What Nick did not understand was that the "yellow tennis ball" was a physical manifestation of the Nephilim's grace that Lucifer could call on and cuddle.

What Nick did know, however, was that the memory of the "yellow tennis ball" was the only thing keeping Lucifer sane in Apocalypse world because that happened when the kid was still in utero. The Devil kept repeating and reliving that memory. The child had been born already and roaming Earth as one of the most powerful entities to ever walk on the face of the planet. The yellow tennis ball that Lucifer had so tenderly attended to was in a physical body all his own, with his own mind and opinions and most worrisome for Lucifer, _away from him._

So, when Mary Winchester asked the Devil if he cared about his son, Nick understood why he answered like he did.

"You can't possibly know what I care about."

So as Nick laundered clothes and Lucifer hung on for dear life as he was tortured, the question hung heavy in the air.

Will the yellow tennis ball care about him back?

* * *

Like the plot of an episode in a show that should've well ended many seasons ago like it planned to so now it has to create more loose threads and ignore cannon to remain relevant because of the huge fan base, the Devil sat on the throne of Heaven. Lucifer got up from the sterile-looking white "throne "and huffed, trying to keep his macho about him. He threw a disdained look at it, thinking it was nothing more than a glorified car seat-not even comfortable-and with a glare in his eyes, the playing cards on the floor burst into flames.

Everything had gone south. No one took him seriously. Those who did take orders did so half-willing and rudely. No human recognition. No angel supports. No _real_ apology from Dad. No guidance on how to "King of Heaven". No Anael- _it's not like they were anything more other than business partners…right?_ And most importantly, no Jack- _he had considered paying a "visit" to Kelly for that, but that would've not blown over well with his son when they met eventually_. He did always wish for power, right? Isn't this what he always wanted? Then why did all this feel lousy?

The Devil looked down at his feet.

Nick laughed.

In a short span of time the Devil experienced incarceration at the hands of his supposed inferior creation, then he was lowered to experiencing human emotions and pains, then he was disrespected by his own kin, and finally there was Anael-

" _She's right y'know. You are not keeping your promises. You're no better than a human politician-a bad one at that, Lucifer."_

"Oh, shut up, Nick.", Lucifer exclaimed out loud, frustrated.

Because quite frankly, this sucked. Big time.

 _"Tell me, Lucy dear, how does it feel to not always be the biggest guy in the room? You were hungry and cold and worried and desolate. You were given some responsibility -through a lie of course- and you did nothing with it. You experienced some empathy with that Anael chick-but you blew that, too. According to Castiel, your son wants nothing to do with you. Isn't that just swell? The only good thing you create like ever and he doesn't want to be related to you. You thought this position would attract him, him being "Prince of Heaven" because of daddy's new gig. Well, news flash, buddy. Still no sign of him. Guess he isn't too keen on you or this."_

"I am warning you, Nick. Watch it. "

 _"Oh, and then to top it all off, his mother named him Jack. Jack Kline. The Oh-So-Powerful Nephilim has a perfectly normal-sounding human name given to him by his dear human mother who by the way, is dead because of YOU! "_

"Nick, shut up! "

 _"I saw what you were looking at when you were roaming the streets. A bunch of How-To's as if they could teach you anything. How to Empathy. How to Eat. How to Cook. How to Stay Warm. When you met Anael you looked up "Human Relationships and Interactions". When you were in the hotel room, I thought things were going to go good for the both of us; I haven't had action in a long time. But no! You liked the sound of "Lord Lucifer" more. Asmodeos, Anael, Castiel, and heck even Kelly all made you feel emasculated. Your efforts to be good are half-assed. Nothing is ever your fault. You're just a poor victim of all the curve balls your Father throws your way. YOU WERE BEGGING ON THE STREETS FOR GOODNESS' SAKE! Admit it, old man. You just aint shit. "_

"I SAID SHUT UP! ", Lucifer screamed into the throne room of Heaven. In a split second the throne was thrown off its base as if an explosion had been planted underneath. The bottom of the throne was charred and streaked in black and gray. The whole thing burned in varying shades and intensities of yellow, orange, and mostly, red. The heat licking off the flames kissed the surface of his face. It was comforting in a way. Reminded him of Hell; like that Cage that Anael had cruelly reminded him of.

Lucifer panted heavily. All those soppy song lyrics about hitting rock bottom were disgustingly making sense now. He turned away.

Him. Human. Never in all his eternal lifetime. Yet, it had happened. He'd even engaged in the reproductive process. He had begged for food when hungry and had shivered under threadbare coats when cold. He had felt the emptiness that is loneliness of his long life. He wondered how humans had the audacity to carry on – he suddenly remembered some song that had lyrics like that- and wondered if his dear son had experienced them too. He had doubted his child-rearing skills and had been vulnerable enough to say them out loud to Anael, who later exploited that against him (kudos to that bureaucrat because that's a move he himself would've done).

But they were right. They were all right. Besides his fearsome name to inspire intimidation and his earth-shaking power to back it up, what was there left of him? There was nothing, no substance. Only hate.

 _"This is a learning experience, Lucifer. Use it. ",_ came the voice deep within _._

Lucifer scoffed and flew down from Heaven to Earth to do, if Nick guessed correctly, nothing but feel sorry for himself.

The next folder that Nick saw Lucifer pulling out of all those filing cabinets was "common cheap beers sold in U.S. bars".

Because of all the experience that Nick had with alcohol he was flabbergasted to discover Lucifer's choice of bar.

"Goodness gracious, Lucifer", Nick said sitting from his living room La-Z-Boy watching the TV, "you can't even pick a decent bar."

* * *

Maybe Lucifer couldn't sense his boy, but he certainly could _see_ him.

Because good Dad was the boy beautiful.

"Oh Nick, isn't he just gorgeous?"

After resurrecting the Sam and using him against his will for the umpteenth time, Lucifer flew his banner of true colors for just a little bit. He wasn't here to play around. He followed a most awkward and angry Sam to this sorry excuse of a camp after returning to the last place he wanted to return to. Bizarro World and its Michael hadn't done him any favors the first time around. But he would do it for Jack. Anything for Jack.

Lucifer had to admit that he wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the name, but it was beginning to grow on him. But Jack could never do justice to how breathtaking the boy was.

Beautiful is all that Lucifer could think of. His breath caught in his throat. He stopped in his tracks because he was _right there._ His boy. His son. The first creation that Lucifer had ever taken pride in making. The only good one. All his.

On the outside Jack was scuffed up, dirty, and probably smelly because he hadn't had access to a proper shower in a criminal amount of time. But Lucifer didn't care about that. He knew that Castiel could see it too but that didn't matter either. The boy's true form was just…so… _magnificent._ Around him were the dimly lit and badly damaged souls of the Winchester family circus with the battered-and-glued-back-together-with-duct-tape halo of their (main attraction) leashed attack dog in a trench coat, Castiel, now joined by the diminished Gabriel. No, Jack outshined them all. He was perfect. Even when the Winchesters had taken Jack to a doctor when they first had him was he perfect. His vital signs right where they should be. Glucose level never at anything but perfect. His body and his grace worked perfectly. He was all-consuming, gold extending wide into the buildings, permeating every nook and cranny and high into the tree canopy, powerful enough to combust cosmic beings but gentle enough to heal birds that flew through it accidently. He burned hot and bright in the most dignified and dainty of ways. He was a diamond in a field of coal. His son was a star like his father had been long ago.

His boy.

Lucifer smiled, letting out a surge of pride.

Castiel had lied. The boy was the spitting image of his daddy before corruption. They even shared the same wings. Lucifer's may be scorched with Hellfire but everything about Jack screamed new.

Lucifer straightened out his back, shoulders back and looking as physically mighty as possible, whatever wallowing self-pity there was before was long gone.

"Hello son."

Inside however, Nick was struggling to contains the house in one piece. He was having to decide between the radio burning itself into static oblivion or having the kettle spitter spittar boiling water in all directions.

"What do I do, Nick?! WHAT DO I DO!?" Lucifer's booming voice came over the house like an intercom.

 _Do as we practice. Remember the rehearsal!_ Nick called out from unscrewing a lightbulb in a lamp before it exploded from the pressure.

"Okay, rehearsal, got it. "Lucifer murmured under his breath, calming himself down but by then Jack had flown away. Apparently, it had been a little too much for him, too.

"Whaddya say, helter skelter?!", Dean demanded from the King of Lies. Satan only smiled at him, and in turn to everyone in the group, facing each one individually.

His response was candied poison. He shrugged. He could say it. Jack had flown away.

"Just came for my son. I can't have you clowns taking care of him forever."

Castiel looked unconvinced. Gabriel suspicious. Mary tenacious. Sam still stupefied from the chain of events. Boo hoo for him. Lucifer had flown a little bit of his true colors and poor little Sammy boy still didn't know what to do. Dean kept looking at him, narrowing his eyes with a set jaw, as if that stopped Lucifer from creeping his way into his mind.

 _You wish that you could've cared about Emma the way I do about Jack, Dean Winchester._ Lucifer let the r linger as he quickly felt the hunter's insides turn to ice. Dean stiffened, he thought that memory had been pushed somewhere deep and dark where even he dared not to look. But the devil was one son of a gun, after all.

"Now, if you'll excuse me. I gotta locate him again. "

"No.", an angry demand came from what Lucifer guessed was Castiel's position (he really didn't care enough to look)" you're coming with me."

Lucifer nodded. Nick could only think about what a bad position Castiel was putting himself in.

Once they had gotten out of earshot in front of the cabin, Lucifer's- no! Nick's- blue eyes turned to meet Castiel's -no! Jimmy's- own blue eyes.

"You know, Cas, you lied to me. He is every bit my son. And that scares you. "

Castiel's wings folded behind him defensively.

"And you expect me to believe that you actually want to raise him responsibly like a parent should?"

Lucifer smiled; it was fun to toy with Father's lower creations. Again, his words were feast served with famine.

"And what am I supposed to do? Pay child support?

The devil shrugged. The best for last. Almost like an after-thought.

"Plus, how am I supposed to trust you given your beautiful track record with children. Am I supposed to let Jack turn out like Jimmy's precious little Claire? You did quite the number on her. Real piece of work she is."

Castiel could only look at him.

 _Ohhhh. Burn!_ came Nick's voice from within.

* * *

Lucifer hadn't expected for Jack to come like he had. Lucifer had expected a fight (with whomever necessary), but this was much better. He didn't have to put on a display of power or disintegrate anyone who hesitated to get Jack to talk to him.

He waited for that damned seraph to leave to bring out the big guns; surely to tattle-tale to the Winchesters.

Jack looked down, almost sheepish, "Did you love my mother?"

Lucifer guessed they both had, then. He could tell Jack had been holding this question in for a while. It's not like he could ask Cas or anyone that question.

That was fine. He had practiced this question with Nick. He cleared his throat.

"Well, Jack, you ask very good questions. First off, I am called the King of Lies because I can spot a lie a million miles away, so because of that, I will not lie to you because you deserve my honesty."

Jack hung on to his every word. It was almost unnerving. This child was many more times more powerful than Lucifer and so innocent, of course every beastly and ghastly thing with legs on this earth was after him. He wouldn't let it happen. Not Asmodeos. Not Heaven. Not the pagans. And certainly not the Winchesters. Not if he could help it. His son would be given a chance. A chance to be cared for. A chance to train. A chance to be himself.

That's why Lucifer had to be careful with his words. Unlike the description of the frozen lake given by Alighieri, Lucifer was treading on very thin ice. He couldn't remember being this nervous for a long while.

He gulped and continued.

"We…we…uh…we didn't really care for each other all that much."

Jack's face faltered.

 _Quick, Lucifer, save it!_ Nick's voice came from within.

"Kelly was in love with a man. I guess he cared for her in a way. Anyway, I end up possessing him because I needed a vessel, Jack. And because I needed to appear normal and out of curiosity, I had to…uh…do the do. "

Jack's brow furrowed. Whatever the Winchesters and Castiel had taught him, sex education was not one of them. Lucifer concluded that since he wasn't there yet, he could (gladly) skip over a lot.

"Don't let that get to you, Jack. I have a lot of respect for your mother. She decided to keep you and sacrificed her life for you. You were wanted, just a little unexpected, that's all. Both her and I care about you a lot."

"In fact,", Lucifer picked up Jack's chin with his fingers so his son could see him in the eyes, "I made sure that she's enjoying her time in Heaven. I was king there for a little while. I still carry a big name; I could take you up there and visit her if you want."

Jack visibly cheered up. His smile reached into his eyes. His wings unfurled themselves, reaching high into the surrounding area. Lucifer remembered doing that himself, a long time ago. The wings were massive and bright, but delicate, without burning they illuminated. It was fact, Jack's angelic looks stemmed from his father, no matter how much others wished to discredit that.

 _So, you're not going to tell him how you called Kelly a "container" and that you tried to choke her?_

An invisible hand seized Nick by the throat and strapped him to the armchair in the living room. The weight of a thousand bricks lay invisibly on his chest, keeping him right where he was.

Apparently, Lucifer wasn't in the mood to tell Jack about _that._

"Jack", Lucifer started and sat down, "I want to get to know you, really. Anything you have a question of just tell me.

Jack nodded. He stayed quiet. He was still taking time to process all this. He had taken time when he was all alone to research Lucifer. He read when everyone else was asleep. He researched when he was by himself. Sam hadn't told him much, neither had Castiel or Dean so he had to fill in the rest. At first it was to appease a curiosity and then it soon turned into a vicious cycle of self-hatred.

Lucifer took this chance to speak first. He had to keep talking because all first meetings, even with family members, are always a little awkward.

"Son, I know that I wasn't there when you were born. I tried to be; believe me. The Winchesters stopped me from doing that of course."

Jack's eyes shot up at him.

"You know how Mary was trapped in this world for so long?"

Jack nodded again; his mouth slightly open.

"Well, she was in it because when you were born the energy ripped open a rift and Mary pushed herself and me into this world to keep me away from you. It took me a while to get out of Bizarro Michael's grasp while Mary stayed here. Rowena unwittingly told me where you were. Heck, it was my grace that opened the rift that allowed the Winchesters to get across."

Jack's eyes were as wide as saucers. "You mean you came back for me?"

Lucifer relished the amount of attention that Jack was giving him. This was going better than expected.

"Yes, I did. You're worth it."

Man, this was so good.

"Anyway, Jack, enough about me. Tell me about you. How were your first days here on Earth?"

 _It can't be._ Nick was as confounded as, well, he didn't know how to describe it. Was the devil displaying genuine interest?

Jack looked around and looked every bit the child he was, never mind the amount of infinitely old knowledge locked inside his being. He sulked and put his head in his hands.

"Well…I…uh, was scared. I feared everyone around me. I feared the outside and of me, too. It had this power that I couldn't control. Dean tried to shoot me-

-The Devil's nostrils flared, he would get the elder hunter for that-

And then I went to a restaurant and I showed up naked and this guy Clark took to some office where I got really hungry and then he gave me some nougat and I really liked it and I messed with the vending machine to give me some more because I liked it so much and it was so good and then my head really hurt and I messed up the whole office and then these angels showed up to kill me and I tried to kill myself by stabbing me with a butcher knife and it didn't work and Dean said he'd kill if he had to but Sam has been really nice to me and then I opened up this really big hole because this guy who looked like Donatello told me to go to release the Shedim because apparently that's what God wanted me to do and then I resurrected Castiel because I needed him and I've killed people trying to be good and I feel bad because I should feel bad but I don't so then I left and I was just out in the cold and hungry and then I learned what cocaine was because some guy at a gas station offered me some and I contacted a dream walker and Kaia is dead and now I am here-

"Woah, son, calm down, slow down."

"Sorry." Jack looked so small, quite the opposite of what he was, really. "It's just that I told Sam and Dean that you meant nothing to me to get them to like me but the truth is that I've always been really curious about you because everyone says you're bad and that means I am bad too because I am supposed to be the antichrist but I asked Sam and Dean and they said that the antichrist is someone else but I am still bad because there's a bunch of movies about me and how bad I am for the world. They don't even have my name right- in one I am Damien and in another I am Adam Young and they never get my mother's name right either. Her name isn't Rosemary."

"You shouldn't listen to what Dean says."  
"No, not just him. But, like, everyone. Even books. They say how you're the father of all evil in this world and they all showed pictures of you and Castiel is supposedly not my father, you are, and then I was really confused because my mother was dead because I killed her and my birthday is bad because I killed my mom and then I almost killed Mary and—

"Jack, you gotta stop beating yourself up!", Lucifer exclaimed, a little exasperated and out of breath just from watching Jack tumble out his first year of life out of front of him like that. It was exhausting. Jack could sense that, folded his wings over his head and looked down.

Lucifer was quick to notice this.

"No, no, no, Jack, c'mon. I didn't mean to raise my voice at you like that. I am kind of new at this dad thing-and its like I had a great example of what a father should be."

He huffed; he had been doing so well.

"Okay, let me lay down some basics. My name is Lucifer. Means light bearer, Morningstar, whatever floats your boat, take your pick. I would raise the dawn and I made all the stars in the sky. I used to lead all the heavenly host's choirs. I was the angel of music and light. Satan came later and humans gave that name to me. I don't have hooves and horns or a forked tail. I am not red or half-goat because that's Pan, and I'll introduce you to him later. I don't wear Prada so no Anne Hathaway. No movies about me taking people away on elevators, either."

"But didn't you create demons and damn the whole human race for all eternity?"

"Technicalities, Jack. We don't dwell on those."

* * *

As far as Nick could tell, Lucifer was enjoying his time at the camp.

Or better said, biding his time.

There were two negative highlights.

The first being Dean placing the shackles on him-GET YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF ME YOU DAMNED, DIRTY APE!-but you know, its not like he could scream out insults at Dean with Jack there. Being on your best behavior, even if its to get what you want, is exhausting.

And then there was Gabriel. Even Nick agreed that was cruel on his part. God's Herald was used to venturing low to deliver but this time he stopped way too low to insult his brother.

What shook Nick even more is that the Devil cried real tears. Turned away from his brother and went somewhere else to go cry and shoulders shaking and everything, hoping that Jack wouldn't see that either. Nick knew that Lucifer had hoped that his son could serve as some sort of makeshift glue to at least put his family back together but Gabriel's unfavorable opinion of him negated all that. He even heard Gabriel's comment to Jack.

"Don't trust him. "

 _Why does he do that to me, Nick? I don't understand. I am trying to do better and he's just not letting me._

 _Lucifer, are really doing better all-around or just for Jack?_

The devil turned away from Nick at that point, too. Even Satan won't admit how much it hurts to be rejected by both a weaker, younger brother and a vessel.

All the supposed improvement was geared towards Jack, its not like Lucifer every cared to help the Winchesters.

In fact, he loved to pick on them whenever possible.

After being picked on by Dean, walking, and c _hained mind you,_ Lucifer's perfect little revenge was the silent one. Silent meaning that Jack would not see or hear it, of course.

He disguised his own voice as Dean's. Probed the memory a little, avoiding all the parts about booze, junk food, pie, weapons and women (which was a lot), and going directly for the kill.

 _Jack is blonde and blue-eyed. Emma was blonde and blue-eyed, too. Aren't they the same height? They're both monsters. Jack turned out fine. She was so beautiful. She was yours; you could see it. She was strong, too. You could've trained her. But not like Dad trained you. She could've been your strongest member. You'd have to fight off boyfriends. You had always wanted to be a parent. You wanted Ben to be your true son. Look at how old you are with nothing to show for it. You should've given her a chance._

He looked down.

 _She's suffering in Purgatory._

Dean shook his head and clenched his eyes shut and re-opened, as if that would stop the runaway thought-train. He still remembered that night, the knock on the door and the pink suitcase. The offer of the burrito. The loud bang and the smell of gunpowder and the flash of blood and her small, almost dainty, scream that escaped her pretty, little, perfect lips. Lips that were too much like Dean's to be ignored. She was a knock-out, a head-turner, a heart-breaker had she lived long enough.

 _Maybe if Sam hadn't have shot her…_

He took a glance at his tall brother, half accusing, the other half emotions he couldn't quiet tell w _hat_ they were, but they made him uncomfortable. His brother, niece killer.

He looked to his right.

 _She would've been here._

Sam was a little trickier to manipulate. The devil's earthly pre-destined vessel was a little too experienced with the devil and knew a good deal of his tricks. That's what happens when your roomie lives inside your head. Sam would be able to tell. The devil would have to amp his routine.

But just because something is hard that doesn't mean its impossible.

 _Me worrying so much about Jack feels…inappropriate._

The little voice in his mind reminded him of someone far, far away, and locked deep, deep, down.

 _Adam. I am so sorry._

Lucifer loved playing with Sam's sense of duty.

 _Don't treat Jack like a little brother. More like a son. No! Not that. He's Cas's son. But he thinks you're his dad, too. You love him like a son, though. So, treat him. like… an adopted member of the family. He is family._

 _But he is that._

 _You have another little brother. A real little brother. And you failed him terribly._

 _I am so sorry Adam. You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve getting caught up with Michael. You didn't deserve us._

Sam was cursed. Everybody that he had ever loved had died or gotten hurt in some way. Starting with mom all those years ago when Azazel came for her and all the girls, he had the nerve to have a crush on. Jessica Moore seemed a million miles away. Stanford seemed like a dream and law school _was_ a dream. He then couldn't help but think of his pre-law courses. Bastards like Adam had a right to their biological parent's estate. Unfortunately, the only estate to inherit was the cage under the state of eternal suffering.

 _I am so sorry we left you there._

Memories of chains and screaming and torture. Memories of being dead and being resurrected back to life. But most importantly, memories of _him_ and his red eyes and taunting voice.

 _But Jack is nothing like that…right._

Jack inherited his father's grace signature, and as much as Sam would try to ignore it or wash it down with beer after supper, the presence of that grace in the bunker hung onto him. It was heavy, like a very dense air that no matter where he went, it was there. He knew it all too well and had learned to fear it.

Sam, by virtue of his height, looked back and above everybody's head to see the devil and his son- NO! Their son- happily talking. Jack obviously believing the vast tangled mess of pretty words and empty promises that the devil would spin.

 _He will never leave me alone, will he?_

Lucifer laughed to himself. Sammy had been too dumb to realize that his mind was being tampered with.

 _No, Sam,_ Nick said to himself, _you just don't defy the devil and just expect to get away with it._

 _That's right, Nick,_ Lucifer chimed in, _Sam will have peace over my cold, dead body. Eeerrr- yours, Nick._

Last, but certainly not least, Mary Winchester was not to be spared. She was the reason he was in this mess, anyway.

She, however, was not experienced with mind tricks and because this did not involve a gun or a machete, she would be easy. Just like stealing candy from a baby.

 _Was John really the love of your life?_

 _Don't be silly, Mary. Of course, he was._

 _Was he always faithful to you, though? Even after you died. He traveled a lot you know. How do you know if he didn't have any other children? What if Sam and Dean have a sibling? I bet that other kid's mother didn't make a deal with a demon choosing her husband over a child and burned on the ceiling._

 _Don't be silly, Mary, stop saying these things to yourself. You knew John like the back of your hand._

 _But did you really?_

* * *

"You know, son, Father always described himself as being a writer. I disagree. Father is a mathematician. He dreamt up of worlds and used math to help sort them out. These rules of math that he created for you to discover run the whole world and control all of space and time. All His creations therefore have a varying degree of control over matter and space and time. Angels having more control than mortals, the higher up the more control they have. And humans have more control than animals. "

Lucifer looked down at the ground. Jack looked at his father, not sure where this monologue was going.

"When Father said that He made humans in His image, I w _as_ jealous. I couldn't imagine why. We had served him so faithfully all for him to love some mud-monkeys. And believe me, son, us cosmic beings just love it when God's favorites are subject to their natural impulses. They're animals, after all. Hunger, thirst, sex…"

 _You shouldn't be talking Luci! Look at what you did; the result is right in front of you!_ Nick called out from within.

"I guess I just didn't understand what he meant by 'making you in His image'. It wasn't until some time that I understood to be that He gave humans certain abilities. And why He chose humans, an ape that really should've gone extinct a long time ago, over dolphins or octopus or even sloths for His sake…-

Jack could only think about what a bad idea it would be to have someone like Sid the sloth running earth like humans do and kept his opinion that maybe God knew what He was doing to himself.

-But He did. He chose humans. And you know what He gave them? Free will. Father gave humanity the ability to rationalize the world through math- to decode the language of the universe-and then apply it to do only what He could do. Create. Only humans and God can create out of their own creativity. I created all the stars, yes, that's why He named the Light Bearer, but only because He gave the blueprints. He told me what elements to put together in what combination and how much heat and ta-dah, nuclear fusion and fission! Hydrogen and Helium are great elements, son. I'll have you handle them one day and then you can take over my old job. How does that sound? I bet Helios and Ra get tired of being the only ones hauling the sun all day. Yeah, take over your old man's old gig…"

Jack looked increasingly confused. He was still thinking about sloths and then dolphins at Sea World and now stars.

Lucifer continued, "Even then, son. God is not my father the same way that I am your father. In fact, I am not _really_ your _father."_

Jack furrowed his brow and cocked his head. "What do you mean by that?" Lucifer picked up on the little bit of panic the boy slipped into his voice.

 _Great job, Luci! You're traumatizing him!_

"What I mean by that, Jack, is that I am not _biologically_ male like you are. Nick here, on the other hand, is XY chromosomes all the way. But angels are more like massive amounts of light waves imprinted with one instruction and that is to follow God's orders no matter what. Another dimensional being. We are not born nor do we age. We are just created like Victor Frankenstein created his monster, and then thrown away just like Frankenstein again."

Jack was even more confused, unsure of exactly what his father- or not father apparently but still his father- was trying to tell him. Lucifer continued, nonetheless.

"And even though humans are not my favorite, I do admire Father's work. Humans amaze me. The way they develop, the way their bodies work. And by that token, all life on earth and beyond. How gravity holds all planets revolving around the sun. How the earth has a magnetic field. How when you put electrostatic waves and magnetic waves together, they equal the speed of light. And even you, Jack. "

The devil looked at his son square in the eyes.

"The first time I heard your heartbeat while you were in the womb just took my breath away. I could just picture your little atriums and ventricles forming and that little SA node firing a normal sinus rhythm. Little shocks of electricity spreading all around the Perkinje fibers. _Lub dub. Lub dub. Lub dub. Lub dub._ That became the most beautiful sound that I had ever heard. Because life is amazing and because it was _you."_

That's when Nick felt a warm feeling starting in his chest and spreading about. Something he hadn't felt in a long time. Something that Lucifer didn't allow him or himself to experience out of spite and jealousy and bitterness. Love. It was an overwhelming love. The kind that is repressed for a long time until it can't be kept under wraps anymore. The Devil was willing to relinquish his supposed dream of control of the world over a brokered deal with Michael for Jack. Even for the Devil, love did prevail.

 _Well,_ Nick thought, _if I am not damned already, I am now. The Devil cares about his kid._

Jack just stared and followed his father's gaze to the sky.

"Jack, my son, understand, what's inside you is the stuff that keeps the galaxies together. You don't belong in here. Come with me up there. I'll show you everything. Even one of these…if I am not too rusty at it. "

Lucifer moved his hands in a circular motion, creating a little ball of yellow and red that generated so much heart that it seared the surrounding foliage. The nearby leaves wilted and then incinerated; they didn't even have time to properly brown and burn. The two cosmic beings weren't too bothered by it, though.

"Is that- "Jack started but didn't finish his sentence. His mouth was too hung open.

"Yes son, it's a star. Happy birthday. I'll have you create your own once we're up there. You can DIY it. We can't risk having an accident here on earth. Its simple, really. Just zap some hydrogen and helium from the surrounding area, add some dust and a lot of heat and pressure -immense pressure- and there you go: a star. All elements known come from the centers of stars just like this one." With a wave of his hand, the mini star disappeared. Only the remaining moonlight illuminated their faces.

The Devil looked down at his son.

"Ready, sport?"

Jack nodded and just as he was about to unfurl his wings, something stopped him. He froze. He mouthed one word before taking off to somewhere he wasn't supposed to.

"Sam."

* * *

Sam kept a lot of paper things. Especially books; always books; he loved books; he always had. However, he had not kept books on his bedside since he was little, his only escape against a cruel and monstrous world, and later, John's journal.

Now he didn't keep a book. He kept a missing persons poster.

It was safely tucked away at the bottom of the drawer. It was neatly folded into a little square. He had thought of laminating it but abandoned the idea because it would've attracted too much attention.

This was one of the few times he had dared to dig it up and take a good, hard look at it.

'Missing: Nick Ubrimowitz'

 _So that was the name of the poor bastard that Lucifer had decided to pick on._

Sam had done his research like he always did. Nick had lived in Delaware. He was average on all rubrics. Average height and build. Average union job. Average house. Average family. The kind of guy that fixed his own car but complained about how they were making the machines more complicated now a days and was satisfied if his insurance covered dental.

Everything about Nick was normal. Nothing to raise suspicion. Nothing to even raise an eyebrow. Nick Ubrimowitz was busy handling a mortgage payment while juggling with the idea of building a deck in the backyard. Sam decided to delve even deeper and discovered that him and Nick were distant cousins through Mary's side. Other than that, nothing out of the ordinary.

Except for that fateful night where both Nick's wife and baby were sadistically murdered. No killer was ever found. Nick had been a prime suspect but was quickly ruled out when the police saw what a blubbering mess of grief he was. Case then quickly turned cold and then closed all together. According to neighbors, Nick had been struggling with alcoholism before they saw a brief flash of light come from the upstairs window and the next morning Nick was gone. The police had gone in to check on him. No evidence of suicide. No note. No sign of foul play or forced entry. Nick was just …. gone.

Sam had learned to hate Nick's face. He had to refrain himself from tearing it up. He was looking at Nick. But it was really Lucifer inside the body of a broken man. Much in the same way that Sam had gotten used to looking at Jimmy and thinking 'Castiel', the devil had claimed ownership of Nick.

Sam could just imagine it. Nick was the kind of guy that you could have a beer within the backyard. He had a rifle that he used during hunting season and was probably somewhere in between Sam and Dean in aim.

It was a stupid thought, he knew, but Sam always considered Nick a kind of brother-in-arms. Something about misery loving company. Only the two of them could truly know what Lucifer was like. All those nicknames humanity had assigned Lucifer barely scratched the surface. Lucifer was a being so foul he really was in a league all his own. Lucifer was the only being next to the Darkness that needed to be locked up and put away by God because of the danger they posed to Creation. Wherever Nick was, he was certainly not here; unreachable. There was only Lucifer. Sam could only hope that Lucifer had exercised a little sliver of mercy in one of his many mood swings and had sent Nick to Heaven with the rests of his family quickly. There was no meaning in keeping Nick here to suffer, but then again, there's no telling with the Devil.

Sam was not sure how responsible Lucifer was for Nick's misfortune, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Lucifer was the root cause. The Devil carried around a certain undeniable stench. Satan's talent for ruining lives continues unrivaled.

Sam only knew that he had called out to Jack. Jack came. Now there was an argument with Lucifer and Michael lay in the floor with blood running down his eyes and there was a loud noise they were all crouching covering their ears and Lucifer grabbed Jack-

LUICFER HAS JACK!

That was the only thing that made sense in this menagerie of madness.

 _No, Lucifer. I am not going to let you ruin Jack's life like you did mine!_

Nick's face was dumbfounded, gasping for air due to the unexpected effects of the cannibalism that is eating your own Nephilim son's grace. The only clue that there inside was an archangel was the gold shining from the iris. A gold that was expanding-

Sam dove.

* * *

Nick was being slammed into furniture. He wasn't the only one. Everything was slamming into everything. The house was in chaos. Jack's words boomed overhead.

"You're not my father. You're a monster."

They repeated over and over. They reverberated. The walls vibrated and the glass in the windows slid just a tad bit off center.

The last string of sanity that held Lucifer's impulse control together had snapped with those words. Something inside the archangel had broken.

Jack was on the floor, bleeding from his face and his nose was all torn up. He was holding his side. Sam was there, somewhere, probably being beaten up too.

 _SO MUCH FOR DAMN FAMILY!_

 _Lucifer you gotta calm down. This won't end well…_

 _WHY NICK? EVERYONE ALWAYS LEAVES ME AT THE END!_

The painful memory of Lucifer recognizing that only he and his son's eyes flashed at the iris, and not the pupil, when using their powers flashed across the TV. They even dressed similarly without ever having met each other. They both snap when they disintegrate someone that hesitates. Memories flash across the TV of the Devil and his son. Lucifer turned it off. Lucifer might just lie down and cry, but because the Devil never learned how to properly express his feelings, he resorts to what he knows works violence. Violence stemming from anger. Anger from rejection. Rejection and abandonment.

 _Michael called me the same thing…_

Lucifer's frustration was tangible. He was a being that couldn't help but be evil, no matter how much he tried to be good. He had been made that way. God Himself had willed it. A part of Satan cried out every time Lucifer saw Jack bleeding, but a stronger feeling gushed out from the deepest, darkest depths of the archangel's being. Jack had been in love with the idea of Lucifer, but the reality hit hard.

 _WHY DO YOU HATE ME! I LOVE YOU! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT!_

 _Everybody that I love ends up hating me …._

 _I HATE YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU! I HATE YOU, FATHER! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!_

Lucifer screamed. Eternity of hopelessness had finally culminated in one revelation he had always feared all along: Lucifer was a monster and there was nothing no one could do about it.

Dean flew in.

 _Flew in?_

Of course, that's Michael.

Nick is now jostling side to side after being locked in a linen closet near the bedroom. All he knows is that Michael if fighting Lucifer.

 _Is this it? This is the grand finale?_

Nick cannot hear himself think its so loud. Everything is being thrown around. Having Lucifer than unhinged doesn't help Nick's situation even a little. Having Michael so cool and collected doesn't help either. Michael zeroes in on the kill. Lucifer is just fighting back. When the Winchester brothers chose each other over the apocalypse, their designated archangels were forced to deck it out over the same decision. Sam and Dean chose each other. Michael chose his Father and Lucifer chose his original sin of pride.

Then, a moment of silence.

Its utterly silent. No movement. No sliding. No nothing. Nick is painfully aware of his own breathing.

 _I've been stabbed._ Lucifer thinks to himself.

Then everything explodes.

Everything is consumed in fire. A heat so intense and so imposing Nick wonders how he isn't burning alive because it feels like he is.

 _Nick, take care, buddy._ Lucifer calls out.

The Devil doesn't sound angry or sad. Satan sounds resigned, accepting almost. It finally set in that he was always going to end up here. No matter how many times he went in the Cage or who he killed or how many times he was shot by the Colt. Father's plan was set from the start. Lucifer was to fall from grace to be imprisoned, released, and then finally killed by his brother. The game board was rigged against him from the start.

The Morningstar burns. Stars always burn their brightest just before dying. The Light Bearer gives one more light show before the supernova that is his existence collapses in on itself.

 _Little Lucifer's had an accident._

Satan looks on. Dean is cringing away from the light, but he can see Michael. His elder brother looks proud. His job here is done. Michael, the faithful son, even an alternate version of his brother is unwavering until the end. Sam is hurt and barely keeping it together. Lucifer can't bear to look at Jack.

 _So, may you all…_

Darkness

* * *

Castiel had barely reached the church with Mary in tow when Nick's body started moving.

The seraph found Jack clutching his side and Sam clutching Jack as if they might just fall apart if they pulled away.

Michael is gone. He took Dean with him. Castiel can feel it. The air around him feels lighter, though.

That's what he notices that Lucifer is gone, too.

Sprawled across the floor of the church is a blonde man of average height and build who had an average life and whose biggest aspiration was building a backyard deck worthy of neighboring gossip with a large pair of magnificent wings seared on both sides of the floor. He stinks of Hell. He is also 100% human and in desperate need of proper medical attention.

Castiel peers over him, nudging him slightly. Sam has let go of Jack and has now joined him. The man's eyes flutter open. Blue eyes; no hint of red. Jack lets out a startled scream. Sam pulls back, wondering that the only good thing to come out of this maybe wasn't any good after all.

"Who are you?" Castiel demands in his true voice, knowing that Lucifer wouldn't flinch but this man in front of him cowers immediately.

"My name's…is…Nick." He manages to say weakly before his eyes roll into the back of his head.

Sam sighs. He feels strangely happy. Like waking up from a horrible nightmare or finishing a painful marathon kind of happy. He can't believe his luck. The Devil is finally gone. The Empty collected its grand prize: the second oldest archangel. The Light Bearer. The Morningstar. The Adversary. Biggest and baddest and whiniest cosmic brat in the universe.

Both Sam and Castiel know the same thing. What Lucifer really wanted besides love from an actual family was peace.

 _Well, it looks like he got it. Finally, the Devil's happy._

Sam looks at Nick. They'll just have to put him in the back of the trunk.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading! Please review**


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